First of all, I thank God for a healthy baby. I look at Aryana and I cannot believe that I helped in the creation of such a beauty, from the beautiful almond eyes to the round, cherubic face. Her startling deep, silver-like eye color with a hint of blue (depending where the light hit) seemed endless (Her eyes appear misty gray/blue but was told they will gradually change to their permanent color within a few months to a full year). Her well-manicured tiny fingernails, resembling a French manicure, already needed trimming. Her skin, slightly purple/red at birth, had settled into a creamy off-white, pinkish tone. I am not complaining, but where was the Filipina in her? She did/does not look at all like me!

Everyone made such a fuss over Aryana. Phone calls were made. Visitors came and went. Pictures were taken right and left, including her first portrait taken by the hospital. I made sure I placed an order. I just wished she had a cuter outfit than what I had for her. The outfit I packed away was too large so I told Ed to go home and find something nice to fit her. From all the clothes received from the showers, he picked this (click here).

At that point in time, she was still quite sleepy. I was told that most babies are sleepy during the first several days after birth. Since I made the decision to nurse, I was concerned that she was not waking up on her own to eat. I then learned that a sleepy baby should be wakened and fed at least every two-three hours. How was I supposed to disturb my little angel?

In the beginning, I had some trouble getting Aryana to latch on, but I was persistent. After viewing some specific segments on nursing from the hospital's baby channels, I took note and on Day 3, she was nursing like a pro. I knew, at that point, I was laying the foundation to a special, loving relationship.

Coming home with Aryana was supposed to a pinnacle moment. Instead, the thought of losing the round the clock care frightened me. Even though I hardly sought much help from hospital staff, I was comforted by the idea that they were right there at my beckon call. In fact, because I kept the baby with me at all times, the on-duty nurse kept checking up on me since I was the quietest among the rest of the mommies. Aryana simply made our stay there easy. She was such a good baby…until it was time to go home.

I believed Aryana sensed my fear which was why she began to act up just before Ed took us home. Whatever the reason, she would not stop crying. She was not hungry. Then it occurred to me; maybe she needed changing (During my stay there, I only changed one diaper which was after the pediatrician examined her; I figured I will have my share of diapers to change once I got home). I could not believe what I found when I unfastened her diaper…meconium, black, greenish-black stools which is tarry or sticky. I knew what had to be done and thought with a smile, going home excited her so much, she's relieved. And to my great relief, breastfed babies' diapers hardly smell at all!

After Aryana was finally checked out of the hospital, she settled down in her car seat and fell asleep once the car drove away from the hospital lot. It was a rainy afternoon, so I told Ed to drive slowly as we headed home. As we arrived home, I held my breath when the door opened, ready for the unexpected…our cats' reactions.

Ed kept Aryana in her carseat and placed her on the floor so the cats could investigate. Lady Kamani was the only brave one who ventured forth and began to sniff her. I got nervous and pulled Aryana away. Ed certainly did not like that and wanted me to put her down again. When she is ready to meet them, she will let us know. I may be doing more harm than good, but until then, I do my best to keep a safe distance between Aryana and the cats. The cats now realize Aryana is off limits when I am around.

At one week old, Ayana's needs were pretty basic: she slept, ate, cried, pottied, and gazed uncomprehendingly at the world around her. She was only mildly interested in our faces, much preferring to stare at a bright light, our pictures on the wall, and most fascinating of all, the ceiling. When she did fix her eyes on us, we were met by an unblinking, unrelenting stare, yet wide and filled with wonder.

It may be the first-time mother in me, but I have to admit Aryana is truly amazing. Holding her in my arms instantaneously comforts me. When she was crying or fussing, I immediately picked her up and she often settled down. My heart's aglow to know I possess the ability to comfort her. When she did not quiet down, I usually resisted the urge to hand her over to Ed and instead looked for new ways to soothe our baby.

Babies love to be touched and held, and this girl gets most of it from Mommy. After one day with Aryana at home, Daddy returned to work the very next day, leaving us both alone to bond. I wished he had taken time off as planned, especially to take on the phone calls. I was glad our friends and relatives had called with their well wishes, but I could not handle a crying/hungry baby while on the phone. I decided to let the answering machine pick up from then on.

Because my family is somewhat nearby, I was never totally alone. My mom, sister, and brother would drive up and kept both of us company once a week. I now realize family is very important, and to have them conveniently located means never being lonely because I do want them in my life, sometimes (and I stress this word). I like to have my family close together, not really together, but when stretching my hand, I can reach for them and they are there for me in time of need.

When watching Aryana, I see a beautiful baby when she's awake, but she's absolutely angelic when asleep. (Her mouth tends to resemble a smile, dreaming sweet dreams as her eyes flutter adoringly). Like other parents, we are mindful of SIDS, so we are careful to lay Aryana on her back. Regretfully, she rejected her bassinet and since she has no crib, she would sleep between us with borders to prevent her from rolling over onto her stomach, and especially to prevent us from rolling onto her!

Like many newborns, Aryana liked to be swaddled. After learning the "burrito wrap" (that's what a friend calls it) from the hospital's baby channels, I was glad that she was content in her receiving blanket, especially when she was wrapped tight. When she was not wrapped tight, her arms and hands occasionally flailed about in random, spastic movements. Once in a while, a loud or unexpected noise downstairs or simply the unfastening of her diaper would cause her to fling her arms with wide, open hands and legs with toes stretch out. To avoid scratches, I made sure her hands were covered with her little mittens. I was hesitant to cut her nails right away. They were so soft and delicate, I was nervous about cutting her skin. I decided to wait.

At two weeks old, Aryana was due in for her first well-baby checkup with her pediatrician, Dr. Itsara. I removed all her clothes as Ed watched. A nurse had checked her vitals, length, head circumference, and weight. She had grown from 20 to 20 3/4 inches and her head circumference was 14 inches, but her weight was another story. Aryana had dropped from 7 pounds 12 ounces to 7 pounds 5 ounces. I knew that breastfed babies lost weight the first few days. I definitely thought she had regained those lost pounds within the two-week period. I felt like a terrible mother!

Dr. Itsara checked Aryana out right after the nurse left. She examined her fontanels (the two soft spots on her head), retinas, breathing, and heart rate. Her cord had fallen out the previous day. Before going to the office, I cleaned out her navel the best that I could. I also gave her a bath, her first one which was quite an experience for both of us. She seemed to actually enjoy the water…she did not cry or fuss one bit, but her hands definitely were clenched tightly!

Dr. Itsara noticed my attempt in cleaning her navel and thoroughly wiped away some dried blood with a cotton ball dipped in alcohol (I had to keep telling myself that Aryana will not break). Then the doctor asked us questions about her feeding and sleeping patterns, and filled us in on her immunization schedule. No shots until two-months. However, because Aryana lost a few ounces, she had to come back the following week to recheck her weight. It needed to go up; otherwise, I might have to feed her formula.

That week, I was on a constant regimen of nursing Aryana every two hours, which meant waking her from her peaceful slumber. I hated to do it, but she needed to gain weight. Determined, I was even able to get up on my own for the early morning feedings.

I was amazed at the physical changes that had taken over my body once I started nursing. Often, when I thought about Aryana or heard her crying or the sound of water running, the letdown reflex resulted in a tingling sensation and milk leaking from my breasts. I eventually replaced my nursing pads with washcloths since I drenched so many so quickly. Waking a sleeping baby, cracked nipples and engorgement were no longer issues I had to deal with. I was on a mission to help Aryana thrive.

After Aryana;s third week, she did regain her birth weight plus 5 extra ounces after failing to make her birth weight at her 2-week check-up, losing 7 ounces. Of course, it was my fault, but I have learned to wake my newborn to nurse despite the difficulty and deal with all the insecurities I had. She had been quite active, thereafter, staying up most of the day which made it hard for me to get much done. She certainly knew how to get my attention. After her first 4-weeks, she was thriving, at her own rate.